Bank Of Thoughts & Nonsense

Please do not think that I'm about to kill myself or circulating my head with suicide. This post is quite the paradox, because it's actually a very positive one. I just needed to jot my thoughts down, to preserve it. I decided to jot it here, cos it's definitely more permanent than any piece of paper where the lead on it will fade. Besides, no one really reads this blog, but if you are doing that now, that was just a notice.

I think everything happens for a reason, or at least I've been led to believe that. So whenever I'm in intense pain, I imagine that I should really get something out of the painful situation. That maybe if I learned my lesson for good, I won't have to go through all that pain again. That maybe if I didn't have such rotten thoughts or had such a rotten heart , I would never have to go through all that shit. And that makes me want to be a better person, to do better things because deep down inside, if I were better and I knew I were better, then I wouldn't have much to feel guilty about. Then my thoughts won't go directly to,"What did I do wrong?" , when shit happens. Instead my thoughts will go to...I honestly don't know what I want my thoughts to go to.

In fact, I forgot why I'm having this post in the first place.

I just know that I should be a little less of an ass and a little more of a human, I think this post was to remind me that.

Oh,and it also serves to remind me that I have to take all the shit in the world the Zen way, which I am trying to put all my Zen-ness to good use now by trying to turn every painful moment to a learning moment. It's like writing history books just so people won't repeat the same mistakes, yeah, this post is like that.

Damn, this is one hasty post.

Green Tip : Don't leave your MP3 players / iPods on and try to put your laptop to sleep mode if you refuse to turn it off.

-TANK

Pretty Yellow Toilets

I had the coolest dream ever. But it's going to bore you to death because we all don't really care about other people's dreams,so do not proceed unless you really don’t have a life. The only reason I’m posting this is so that I can preserve this dream,it left a very beautiful mental picture. And it’s nice when I can actually remember my dreams,so I really need to preserve this one.

Date : 09/06/2010

Time : Probably between 9 – 11 am

In the dream :

I was living with my relative ( I don’t know how we were related ) and I walked into this beautiful Moroccan or Italian – esque tiny house. The toilet was next to the living room at it was yellow with those tiny, tiny tiles. Some of the tiles were gold and the faucet was around your waist. It’s the most beautiful toilet I’ve ever seen ( putting aside the fact that it’s next to the living room ) , it was a cylindrical-shaped one, with an opening on the top of it ( I think you could call it an atrium ) to let sunlight in. The walls were circular, as in if you see it from a bird’s eye view, you’d see a semi-circular toilet. Of course, in the dream, I really didn’t want to shower in the living room but anyway , I walked up. And the stairs creaked as I walked up, and the walls were yellow and the stairs were made of wood. It was designed such that there were holes between the current step and the next step so your foot might slip through. As I walked up, I met a young girl with an old face. Her body was about a 12yo’s one and her face belonged to a 50yo. I asked her, “ How old are you?” She said, “A hundred and eight.”

“Huh?” I couldn’t grasp her words.

“A hundred and eight,” she said again.

“Sorry,can you please repeat yourself?”

“A hundred and eight,” she said again.

Then I believed her and got scared of her because there was something odd about her. You know,like that orphan kid? I had a camera in my hand and she came closer. She asked to look at it and I was really scared to say “No” so I let her come near. And she had a scissors in her hand which she was playing with and she kept putting it near the camera ( but I was too scared to tell her to put the scissors away ). She put the scissors so near the screen of the little camera , I thought she was going to scratch it but she just put it down and walked away and then the scissors was in my hand when she left ( you know how weird dreams can get ).

And in that house, there was a room so tiny that you had to crouch when you were in it. But that part of the dream is all a blur.

And then I woke up. Now I know how I want my toilet to look like.

Green Tip : Use less toilet paper, and more water when you wash your buttocks. ( )( ) OH and try to use recycled paper when you’re printing only on one side.

-TANK