odd thought

I've talked briefly about death on this blog before. But what's more important to most of us is life. There are various ways to lead your life and no one can tell you if you're right or wrong. But if you put aside the time you used to sleep,interact,study pointless things,or check yourself out - you're probably down to a year. It's these thoughts that gives me panic attacks. Maybe if you thought more about death and your funeral then you'll understand how you want to live your life. It'll be very idealistic and an idealistic life is uh,let's face it,nearly impossible to live. You keep trying to be good but something drags you back to the hellish behaviour. It may be money,your ex-lover,or a backstabbing buddy.

If I found out I'm going to die tomorrow,I'd drop everything and be a good person,I wont invest time in office gossips or stepping on people to climb the corporate ladder. I won't give a shit of who is screwing who. I won't bother talking bad behind people's back. Gossip - it's just cheap entertainment I still gravitate to. Tell me I'm not dying and I'll be back to my old self - narcissistic and selfish. Maybe that behaviour is kind of like nature's way of preserving one's own prestige. There's this hierarchy in this world and most people try to be on top of it.

I've identified two ways to look at my life -
1) Your life is a one chance to make a difference in the world (or atleast try ).
2 ) Life is to be enjoyed by spending quality time with friends and family.

The first one is all about devoting your time and yourself to the world. But don't be fooled,there's slight narcissism in that too because people will remember and always glorify you. Your sacrifice? No one really understands you. No one will go near you. You just seem to be more of a personality than a person. Sure,some people will point out you're only human but the truth is,nobody will treat you like a normal person. It's not easy to be so strongwilled and if you really spend your time doing the right things,you'll be a phenomenon.

The latter is more of your average family. You invest time in family,friends. You want to build a happy family,have a successful career,watch your children grow up. You want to chase girls/boys in your youth. You want to marry a beautiful wife and have an income enough for your family. Unlike the first one,everything is very moderate. You will be loved and remembered by your friends and family but not by the world. I can't say the people who chose this life is less successful than the first one.

Just because life is rough,if you succeed in either one,then bravo! But if you can succeed in doing both,then you should be very happy when on your deathbed.

Green tip : Don't leave the tap water running when you brush your teeth.

-TANK